11 Month old Sweet Cheeks

My beautiful little baby boy is now 11 months old!! How time flies. It seems like last week I was in the hospital begging for the epidural (I only had it with the last 2 kids, but with his head shape from the craniosynostosis I was in some major pain trying to get him out). Sweets is now crawling and pulling up on things trying to get into stuff. He says several words like dada and mama. He is also doing some baby sign language. He knows the sign for "more" and is learning the ones for "milk" "mama" and "dada". He has six teeth and is has an absolutely adorable smile. He greets me every morning with that sweet smile and helps me get up on those days when I really don't wanna.  He leans in to give me lovins and kisses and is unfortunately also learning a few bad things like slapping people's faces :o  Oh, how quickly they learn to be naughty! I am anxiously awaiting his appointment next month with his plastic surgeon and neuro surgeon so we can see if they think he is going to need the second surgery. It is weighing on my mind lately and the closer it gets the more nervous I am about it. Not sure if this little mama can handle that again. He took it like a real trooper and was so much stronger than I, I am so proud of my lil' man and am looking forward to all the things we are going to get to go through together in this all too short life, good and bad. Motherhood has been such an honor and a blessing in my life. I try never to take it for granted that I have such a great, big, awesome family. I never thought I would have five kids, but now that I do I don't know what I would do without them. Praise God for knowing what is best when I obviously don't have a clue.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. Proverbs 31:15-17

Money Matters

I finally had time to do our bills and balance the checkbook. I haven't done it in a little over a month because I just didn't have the time. This is one thing that I have to do without interruption. Sweet Cheeks is usually hanging around my legs and the other kids are constantly needing something so while they were at Bible school and Sweets was asleep I took the opportunity to get this horrible job accomplished. This is almost always assuredly a fight waiting to happen because once I see all the money that is being spent at gas stations and the like I freak out because we are on a very limited income and with the new car we have no extra. It wasn't as bad as it typically is so I didn't feel the need to tear into Mr Railroad this time lol. I am sure he'll get it next month :) We are officially in the red by 60 bucks this month. Sooo if Mr Railroad gets any overtime that would be great... we'll have to see what happens. Otherwise, we will have to pay the ones that are necessary and hold of on less important bills. I am so sick of living this way, but it seems no matter how much money we make we always tend to overspend. This is a really bad habit we started when we moved in together right after high school and have never seemed to be able to break. I have heard that you are to pay off the lowest bill first and work your way up to the biggest ones so that is what the plan is for now. I have a few really low credit card bills that we could get paid off and then not be in the red, but would at least break even. I try to avoid thinking about the bills because it greatly stresses me out and Mr Railroad just avoids them altogether (besides racking them up of course- isn't that supposed to be the woman's job!). I am hoping to be debt free by 2013 (except the new car). If we buy nothing else and control ourselves at Christmas we will have a pretty good chance. So off to the store I go for the necessities (I always say a prayer before I shop that I will control my urges and only buy the items that we are in great need off and try to remind myself that we have 5 kids that will need to go to college- they usually go something like this: 

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you so much for your many blessings upon our lives. Please help us to remember how blessed we are and how much you care for us as we go about our everyday lives. Let us use that knowledge to praise you and to do the things in our lives that will reflect your light. Please give me the wisdom that I so desparately need to use our money in the best way that I know how. Watch over my children and bless them and help me to be the best parent that I can. Thank you, again! In Jesus Precious name, Amen

He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a broken down city without a wall. Proverbs 25:28

Bath Salt Articles

These are some articles I found concerning the drug that I believe my husband has been dealing with. After reading these articles I am very fearful for his safety as well as the safety of us being around him. He has never exhibited any of these  psychotic episodes that I know of but just to know what it has done to others is enough to terrify anyone.  At least they are working on making this stuff illegal and thus harder to get. I believe the attraction to it is that they cannot get busted because it doesn't show up on typical drug tests and they think that that makes it okay. Please be aware of this new drug especially if you have teens. It seems as though they are the ones at greatest risk. It seems as though the risk for suicide and hallucinations is high and that often they do things under the influence of this drug that harm themselves or others.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/01/24/americas-new-drug-problem-snorting-bath-salts/

http://www.npr.org/2011/02/08/133399834/florida-bans-cocaine-like-bath-salts-sold-in-stores

http://www.businessweek.com/lifestyle/content/healthday/649596.html

Another Stash!

The garage was in desperate need of a clean out so my mom and I started in on it. While going through all of her old VHS tapes (that I was trying to force her to get rid of since they haven't been watched in years) we came upon a clear baggie half full of white powder. Of course my mom isn't an idiot and knew it was Mr Railroad's stash!! We have had many conversations about what we need to do in order to help him and where you draw the line and tell him to get lost. She didn't say a word and just got rid of it. I was absolutely mortified!- not only is it super embarrassing to have to tell your family your married to a drug addict, but I also have a husband who is disrespectful enough to hide his drugs in THEIR garage!!! This hurts me more than him having the drugs! My parents have done so much for us and have always supported him through all that he has done and not done through these past ten years. God has really got to help me get past this one. I am just waiting for now kind of numb. Things either have to get better or they are definitely going to get worse with the way he is headed. Either way I am ready to move on with my life. Hopefully it will be with him instead of without him.

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7-8

VBS Season

Being right in the middle of the Bible belt, Vacation Bible School is a huge part of our summer and we have been attending bible schools for the last few weeks. Although it wears me out and sucks up a lot of gas it is very worth it. My children learn sooo much from their time there spent learning about God's love with their peers. I am so thankful for all the workers at these programs that have to put up with all these children for 3 hours a night for a week... that would wear anyone out!! I have been fortunate enough to have family members help drop off and pick up which has given me a little extra time to catch up on cleaning and organizing. All the stuff we decided to donate to goodwill is still in our garage from a few weeks ago when we totally overhauled the house, and the cleaning gets really behind after the two days that I have to go to work and am gone 10 hours. I feel very blessed for my job and it is the best job I have ever had. God does know what he is doing after-all :) I will try to remember that the next time I think he is going to kill me with his plans for me to work more or move or have another kid or whatever the next adventure with Him will be.

  “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” Psalm 118:8

Cakes and Hoss

I have been hired to make a couple cakes. I am going to make an Elmo and a Big Bird for a sweet little almost two year old girl. I am going to have to get on it to get them done in time. My hands usually get quite achy if I try to do it all at once. I hope that I don't have any problems. Last cake I made Hoss got into it and ate the entire foot off of my monkey pirate!! He really, really likes cake and gets super excited when I start getting all the icing bags and mixes out. He has finally started to slim down a bit, not that he was ever too huge, but he has always had gigantic cheeks and is by far the broadest and tallest of my kids. I am only 5'2" and Mr Railroad is 5'10" so height isn't really expected for out little ones lol. Although all of my kids were tall at birth (each at least 21") and stayed in the 90% or above range until I quit nursing. They would then taper off until they were about 50% range lol. Maybe I should keep breastfeeding til they're five. I don't know how people have the time to do that not to mention the stamina! I can barely get all Sweet Cheeks feedings in without a catastrophe from one of the other kids. They know that I am tied down when I am feeding him and tend to use that time to get into trouble (kinda like whenever you get on the phone and they have to be twice as loud and have a SUPER important question to ask that just can't wait no matter what- something like, "Where is my sock?") Well, I realize I have rambled on about four or five things, my mind is a little stressed and when it is crazy like this I have a little trouble focusing, so off to bake, babysit, cook lunch, and pay bills. OH, Joy!!!

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Daddy Day

My wonderful dad is 68 today!! Wow, I can't believe it, he doesn't seem even close to that age! Thankfully he has always worked hard and I believe that this busy lifestyle has helped keep him healthy. He has never been one to just sit on the couch. He has been retired for a few years now but is still just as busy helping run the farm and working a little for my uncle's construction business. We are in the middle of building a new church and they work there most days. He has fought prostrate cancer and won, has suffered broken arms and legs falling off a semi at work, and has come through many obstacles life throws you. He is the greatest dad on Earth... I know you have heard this before but it is really true with my dad. He has always sacrificed himself for us, he puts up with all seven of us living with him (which takes a saint!), and he never complains (or kicks us out).  When I was a  kid he always went to all my games and supported me in whatever I was doing at the time. He is a dad of seven, six girls and one boy, and a grandfather of 21 (5 of them named after him) and all of us love him dearly!! Happy Birthday, Dad!!! We love you!!

His Legacy- kids and grandkids

playing with granddaughter

opening his present

My Dad wearing my nieces hat and sunglasses lol He has always been a jokester

Dad and my brother at Christmas

And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” [Malachi 4:6 ESV]

Financial Freedom- Here We Come!

Yippee! I finally received my first check and it was more than expected! I cannot even begin to tell you how badly I needed it. My wonderful husband believes as long as we have a check we have money. He writes at least one a day and many times two! I refuse to give him the debit card... as of right now he doesn't know we have one ;) This way I know what he has written and have a little more time to get money in the bank before it goes through. I am the financial planner of the family and I am lucky if I can even get him to glance at the bills. I of course being type A have an excel spread sheet of our bills and income. All he has to do is take two seconds to see that we are broke! I think it is easier for him not to see that way he still feels as if he can spend whatever he wants. His attitude is he works hard so he should get to spend whatever he wants. UGH! When is he going to grow up! So.... now that I am working two jobs I am hoping to get caught up a bit. We just had to buy him a new car (a little Toyota) because his died and my car should hopefully be paid off early next year. We had to get mine a year and a half ago (a '08 Honda Pilot) to fit our growing family, my little Ford Contour wasn't going to cut it anymore with five kids. With both cars and my student loan, and credit cards we owe $44,000. OUCH! It hurts to look at that number! Slowly but surely I plan to be out of debt. I will never get a store card again (even if it saves you 10%) I always fall for that and then never pay it off right away and end up using it instead. I am determined to be financial free so I can focus on other more important things like my beautiful family.

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. Proverbs 22:7

Be Fruitful and Multiply

As you can probably guess I am from a huge family. I am one of seven kids and my parents each came from large families. My mom had five siblings and my dad had ten. As of right now I have twenty-one nieces and nephews with one on the way. Plus my parents have just had their first great-grandchild. My uncle who we always kid we are in competition with has twenty-four grandchildren. The family joke has always been if you don't know of anyone that's pregnant in the family it is just because they haven't told yet! Right now we have four expecting (and one that just had a miscarriage :(  ) We are a fertile bunch or as some have told us "a horny bunch" lol. I am glad that I am not the pregnant one this time around! I have horrible pregnancies and it greatly irritates me to hear people saying how great they feel while pregnant... all I do is throw-up and feel like throwing-up for nine months. I will take as many babies as God would give me, but just would like to skip the pregnancy part. So although happy it isn't me I congratulate all of those that are expecting and can't wait to see and hold the little bundles of joy! One thing our family is really really good at is making cute kids ;)

"And God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living animal that moveth upon the earth." Genesis 1:28

"And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth" Genesis 9:1

"As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it. " Genesis 9:7

Hallelujah! Function is back!

Two of my aunts volunteered their time to help me get this house in order. This was an offer that I could not refuse!! They have been told before that they could start a business doing this since they actually enjoy it! Ugh!
We live in a house with a full finished basement. My room (including Sweet Cheeks bed) and Darling's room are downstairs and we have a living area, bathroom, and laundry room downstairs also. The plan was to move all my stuff except the boys clothes down. That included my entire craft supply, all sewing items made and works in progress, the kids homework books, and all toys. This was no small feat!! We worked for two solid days! We got two tables put together to be my sewing/ craft/ homework area. My sewing machine is on one side and all the kids homework boxes are on the other so I can help them while I am sewing or crafting.  They each have their own designated spot where they sit and have everything they need right next to them.  Everything that used to be strewn all over the place for my Etsy store is now neatly packed into totes and boxes and labeled accordingly.  We went through EVERYTHING and threw out a ton of stuff. My aunt even went through every pen and marker to make sure they worked before putting them away... everything has a place and everything is in its place with her.  I am sure this house drives her crazy when she comes over!
The upstairs is totally clean and rearranged so that my mom can feel like she has her house back somewhat. She has never been one to rearrange or even care about style and is more concerned about the cows and garden so this was a long time coming. She still had decorations and furniture that she got 35 years ago that had seen it's better day (plus gold and orange aren't really the style these days). Although many people may be offended by others coming into your house and changing it she is ecstatic because she doesn't know what or how to do it herself. Now our house has more functionality and I feel better knowing my parents have a bigger portion of it to themselves. Letting a family of seven live with you takes up a lot of space!  Good thing they built such a large house so long ago. My grandpa had a construction business so my parents, uncles, and he worked on it for free. We have five bedrooms (used to be seven converted two into a living room), three baths, two living rooms, a dining room, kitchen, and laundry room along with a two car garage.  This size of house is such a blessing for a gigantic families like ours. :) Thank you to my super wonderful aunts!!!

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.  Proverbs 31:15-17

Moving Along

We are starting to get into a routine with my work and homeschooling going full speed ahead. I am always so determined at the beginning of the year to keep all subjects up to date and never get behind, but that kind of goes out the window as reality hits throughout the year; so far we are doing really well and are staying on task.  Darling and Tenderheart are really showing their maturity since last year and are starting to become self motivated which is right next to a miracle in my book... trying to push them along when they weren't into it really took a lot of my energy last year.  I will start Wild Thing and Hoss a little later (not too thrilled about the war that will ensue with Wild Thing). They are about at the same level so I may do a lot of their work together. Hoss enjoys doing homework because he feels big like his brothers; on the other hand Wild Thing would much rather never learn a thing and go on about his sword fighting and collecting of lego stickers (which are ending up all over my walls!). Nevertheless we are moving along and I am not losing my mind (which is a blessing from God). My store is doing great and I am selling quite a bit from people around here who have heard about my products so maybe bills will get paid and I'll be rich lol.

He's Still Working on Me

I was just thinking of this song and how I have done so many things that do not reflect my Christianity.  I am a work in progress and hope that each day I am getting closer to the person God desires me to be. Whenever I try to do it on my own I always  fail miserably. My pride gets in my way often. I am stubborn and selfish. I have done so many things that I am ashamed of but am sooo blessed to have a Savior who is willing to look beyond all of that and love me, even me, enough to die for me and save me from myself. Thank you God for working on me and not ever giving up on such a sinner like myself.

Chorus:
He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me 

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart
Don't judge him yet, there's an unfinished part
But I'll be better just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands 

In the mirror of His word
Reflections that I see
Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the potter; I'm the clay 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

Puke in the Pool

Today we were supposed to leave for my niece's wedding up north but Tenderheart has been throwing up all day :( He looks awful! We went to his baseball pool party yesterday and a little kid threw up in the pool while we were in it (really, really gross!).. so I think that is how we got the "bug." Pretty disgusting, at least it wasn't diarrhea. So... I went ahead and sent Darling to the wedding with my parents in their motor home because she is supposed to be the "bubble hander-outer" and I am trying to get myself motivated to clean out totes full of boy clothes in the garage, (I'll send all I don"t need to my lil' sister who is due in August. YAY! I can't wait!), then I need to get caught up on some sewing, and straighten my desk which is a total disaster right now. I also need to get all my papers organized so I can pay bills (hopefully we haven't already missed some since I haven't had time to even open my mail lately). Mr Railroad left to go out of town for several days, so it is just the boys and I. Hopefully none of the rest of us get ill. 

The rest of this week is looking pretty good. The schedule isn't so full that I can't read my calendar! I am sooo glad ball is over... I love watching the games but with three playing there is never a night off, most times two games a night. We have also started homeschooling again this week and thus far I haven't lost my mind. Darling claimed that it is not going to be like last year, she said she isn't going to procrastinate this year (we will see how long that lasts). I am determined to stay on a schedule now that I am working and am not that flexible which was one of my favorite things about homeschooling... we could just pick up and go anywhere or do anything whenever we felt like it, now we have to wait for weekends like everyone else :( That stinks because we are used to avoiding the crowds by going midweek or midday to the store or to waterparks, zoos, and the like. The next few weeks will tell if I am going to be able to keep up this pace and "do it all" or if I am going to have a nervous break down. I am one of those people who are the happiest when busy...so I should be really happy this year.   :)

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30